Frequently Asked Questions
Be polite - and whatever you do...don't run!
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Pray.
The legal answer: Be very polite, respectful, maintain eye contact with the officer and always say “yes officer,” or “yes Sir,” or yes Maam,” while never making a face suggesting disbelief in what he or she is saying. (Let’s face it, more often than not you know why you’re being pulled over.)
It’s best to personify humility and respect, if you would like to have the discretionary option of receiving a “warning” as opposed to a ticket! This works almost every time, though most people in this increasingly rude society today wouldn’t know. Surprise the officer – show him/her that YOU are a refreshingly nice throwback to a couple of decades ago when basic civility and manners were a good thing, and respect for law enforcement was a value worth trumpeting.
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Cry uncontrollably while offering to wash the officer’s patrol car.
Better answer: Be respectful to the arresting officer and yet invoke your Constitutional rights – your “privilege against self incrimination” (5th Amendment), and your “right to counsel” (6th Amendment)…and how do you do that? Simply inform the officer that you would like to speak with your lawyer. If the officer persists in questioning you after you’ve already invoked your right to counsel, simply respond the same way you did initially, repeating your invocation of rights. There is no shame or inference of guilt by simply invoking your constitutional rights. Too many men and women have died in defense of this country to preserve these rights. Politicians invoke these rights every day, and you as an ordinary citizen have the same constitutional rights as anyone else.
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Be prepared to get yourself shot, or to die in a violent, horrific crash, even if you do have a fast car.
Better answer: The crime of “Fleeing or Eluding a Police Officer” was just upgraded to a felony, punishable by prison!!
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Tell ‘em you don’t know this Miranda dude.
Better answer: Invoke them, as just advised, regardless of guilt or innocence, and simply state that you would like to speak with an attorney; and yet be very respectful of the officers. They are in very stressful and dangerous jobs, and they need no additional aggravation or disrespect, even if making a false or mistaken arrest. If you witnessed someone else commit the crime, then that may be the only exception to this advice. In that case, you may choose to redirect the officer to the individual who actually committed the crime. No other response is necessary or advisable.
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Plenty. Title 42 of the United States Code, Section 1983, allows you to file a civil rights suit for redress of your civil rights violations. “Excessive force” is a civil rights violation, just as “false arrest” is another.
Drunks and Roadside Tests and Pill-Popping Junkies
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Inquire as to whether the officer knows if a 2 pencil is required for this test.
Better answer: If you were not drinking alcohol, take the breath test. Why? If you refuse to take the breathalyzer/intoxilyzer test – and assuming the police officer had the requisite “cause” to request that you take the test, then you will suffer a “license revocation” of at least 12 months in most jurisdictions.
Also, a “refusal” to take the test in Florida, is now a separate crime – simply for the act of the “refusal.” Yes, you’re entitled to a hearing on this immediate revocation issue, but to be brutally honest with you, winning those hearings at the “Division of Drivers Licenses,” is a crapshoot, at best! You are NOT before real judges at those administrative hearings, and that’s the rub.
If you have been drinking – more than two beers as an example, then (first of all!) please do NOT drive; but unfortunately, if you use only 1/3 of your brain (!) and fail to follow that sage advice, then don’t take the test. The odds are, you’ll blow over the legal limit! Best bet: Call your parents or your sober friends, as they’ll be more than happy to drive you home – and they’ll agree in advance (most of them!), to NOT judge you. You’ll end up saving thousands of dollars in legal fees, bail money, towing and storage charges, and a host of other fees and costs; and more importantly, you may even save a life – your own, or someone else’s.
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If lawyers get involved, “yes.” Lawyers always get involved today, so the answer is always “yes.” Here is why:
If someone gets drunk at your house and you gave them any alcohol – and if they then get into a car accident resulting in death or serious injuries, you will be sued. A lawyer representing the injured person or the family of the person killed, will start with your homeowner’s policy, and build from there.
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Absolutely, and it happens all the time. If your “own prescription medication” caused you to be “impaired” or “under the influence” of that particular “controlled substance” while “operating a motor vehicle,” then yes, absolutely, you can be charged under these circumstances with DUI.
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No. There is no legal requirement that you do these “roadside sobriety tests,” which they now call “field sobriety exercises” – since the Supreme Court disallowed “tests.” You cannot be arrested for the separate offense of “refusal to obey police officer,” for exercising your legal right to refuse to perform these “tests” or “exercises.” If you are arrested, it will not be a consequence of your refusal to perform these tests; it will be for the offense of DUI –for which you were going to be arrested by the same officer anyway!
Kids and Phones and Cars and Dope
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Answer: Start breathing heavily and suggestively into the phone…(not!)
Better answer: Talking about something illegal is a crime called “conspiracy,” and people are arrested and indicted almost daily for the crime of conspiracy. The only way to avoid arrest and indictment for wire fraud (at a minimum), and any number of other charges relating to the actual suggested conduct, is to rebuke your friend immediately. If you even joke that you might agree to participate, you can and will be indicted, depending on who is listening, and then you’re forced to tell a jury one day that you were only kidding.
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Answer: Brake abruptly while jamming his head into the passenger side dashboard.
Better answer: Pull over and get your friend and the dope out of your car immediately – the only exception: the friend can stay, if the dope gets dumped immediately out of your car. Why? You can be arrested for “constructive possession” even if you are NOT the one holding the drugs. It is only required for your conviction of this crime, that the drugs be “within” your “reach and proximity,” and that you had “knowledge” of the presence of the drugs, and “knowledge” of the “illicit” nature of the contraband, period.
It is NOT required for your conviction that you touched the drugs, or that you tried to use the drugs, or that you intended to use the drugs. Two things are also possible even for the person who does NOT do drugs: either your friend is working with the police in an undercover capacity (after an earlier arrest), and you are being inappropriately set up, or at a minimum, your drug-possessed friend is putting YOU at risk of arrest on a charge of constructive possession.
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Answer: Strike the junkies repeatedly on or about the head! (Do not do this, as I was only attempting to be humorous)
Better answer: Get out of that party immediately. When the police arrive (pursuant to a warrant or just an anonymous and yet corroborated “tip,” those in actual possession of the drugs will NOT be the only ones arrested. That’s right – YOU will be arrested too (based on the same laws pertaining to “constructive possession,” defined above); and yes, later you’ll have your chance in court to explain that you were only hanging out (“mere presence” defense) there at the party, had no intention of using the drugs, you’re actually innocent, etc.
We are supposed to be “innocent until proven guilty,” but who really believes that anymore? Too often today, we’re guilty until proven innocent,” so if you don’t mind getting arrested, sitting in jail for a night or longer (until paying through friends and family for a bond), and going through a stressful trial in hopes of getting exonerated/acquitted one day, then stay at the party with the drugs.
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Change the word “pills” to “cocaine,” and there’s your answer. It makes no difference which “controlled substance” or narcotic is being sold or given away.
Sexual Harassment and Road Rage and the She-man!
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Tell his wife. She’ll straighten him out. If your boss is a woman (these days it happens both ways!), do the same thing – tell her husband. She will have bigger problems than you.”
Better answer: Tell the head V.P. of the “Human Resources” dept., if the company is big enough to have one, and if not, see a lawyer about filing suit for sexual harassment.
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Just get married. It’s certainly “domestic,” and let’s agree, it does ‘violence” to your unfettered right to be free. I know, because I am married; and this is true even if your spouse is wonderful (like mine – in case you’re reading this honey!)
Legal answer: Suppose you and your wife get in a heated argument and one of you slightly pushes the other, resulting in perhaps a return push or even a grab, even without the nasty slapping, hair-pulling or punching? The pushing or grabbing is still considered “Domestic Violence,” and when the 911 call is made in Florida, this means both of you will be going to jail.
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Quit being such a she-man! No, seriously, here’s the…
Right answer: Dear self-declared Jerk, absolutely not! Sending a letter or a greeting card, even a nice one (or even flowers with an apology note) violates your restraining order and is illegal; or having a friend call and apologize for you (as you may erroneously think that it’s only you who cannot call her), is yet another violation of the “civil” restraining order, which disallows “any” contact, “direct or indirect.” When you’re arrested for the “new, separate crime” of “violation of restraining order,” you will be taken to jail, booked, fingerprinted and photographed, and you cannot make bail until a $3,500 bond is posted on your behalf; and if you live with the “victim” or person who petitioned the court for the restraining order, you cannot go to your home to even get your clothes to go to work! You will need a separate hearing before the Judge to “modify the terms and conditions of the restraining order,” to allow you to get your belongings.
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This question is too serious to allow for levity. Do not wash up or clean up, as you must help to preserve the evidence of the crime. Your body is essentially the crime scene. Tell the police immediately (even if you are related to, or friends with, the person who did this to you), and get to the hospital or Sexual Assault Treatment Center as soon as possible! There are “forensic” (legal-scientific) reasons that require your physical presence and evaluation at the treatment center or hospital; so please, for your sake, get some help immediately. There may be traces of hair, saliva, semen or blood from which the experts can obtain a decent DNA sample, allowing for identification, prosecution and conviction of the perpetrator. Call your parents and loved ones as soon as possible, as they only want to help you. They will not judge you, as they love you, and want you to receive immediate help! These crimes can often occur as a result of victims being drugged. (“roofies,” GHB and other dangerous narcotics can essentially knock you out or so disorient you, that you “pass out” and cannot stop the sexual assault. If you’re in a bar or nightclub – or even at a date’s house or a friend’s party, and someone brings you a drink (even a nonalcoholic drink), do NOT drink it, unless you watched the bartender, friend or “date” make the drink right in front of you. If you didn’t watch the drink being poured – or if you took your eyes off the drink before taking possession of it (or if you leave it unattended for a moment, then you are clueless as to what was then put in it! This crime (“rape”) is different than “date rape,” and yet it’s just as pervasive. It occurs with enough frequency that it is becoming epidemic in some parts of the country.
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Smack ‘em back! (NOT!)
Better answer: Call the police immediately, and then your parents, who may want to file a lawsuit against the dirt bag who punched you, depending on whether the idiot has any assets.
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You get the hell beat out of you, unless you can fight real well. Seriously, this is a very bad idea, since people are getting shot and killed in these road rage incidents all the time these days. It’s a very dangerous world we’re living in today.
Better answer: If you are in a “road rage” situation and you so much as put your hand inside the other person’s car, it is a felony called “Burglary of a Conveyance.” Putting you hand on the outside of their car is not a crime, but if your hand “breaks and enters” the imaginary plane or airspace within their car, that is considered under the law to be “breaking and entering,” otherwise known in Florida as a “burglary.” And, if you touch the driver (or anyone in that car) against their will, the felony is then upgraded to “Burglary of a Conveyance with a Battery,” punishable by 30 years!
What To Do When You Are Hurt
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Never, ever sign forms or releases with any insurance carrier or its representative, adjuster or investigator, without your lawyer first reviewing the form or release – even if the representatives are offering you a check or settlement money.
Do not speak with an investigator, adjuster or any representative from an insurance carrier – even your own, before consulting with your lawyer.
Under no circumstances should you provide any representative of an insurance company – even your own, with a “statement” over the phone or in person – taped or otherwise, without your lawyer present.